I AM The Universe: Random Thoughts

So. I’m the odd one out in the family. I don’t make emotional decisions (unless it’s about a gadget ), I’m not vehmi, I don’t worry too much about things. And that worries Ammi Aamanna – he starts oscillating between the bathroom and the outside world twelve hours before any flight. Ammi and Beenie (my sister) are claustrophobic (and über-vehmis); Shani bhayya is scared of chicken and pigeons, and anything with wings; Aamanna is scared of every single animal – He jumped from the dining table to the bed (yes, long jump) when I brought home an injured chhiria ka bacha when I was a kid; And Ajjoo bhaijaan.. he doesn’t go grossly off point when writing a blog post. Not that he blogs, but you get the idea.

So I was saying, I never get the pre-flight nervousness that everyone else in my family does. I get on a plane, I plug in my earphones and even though these Abu Dhabi-Karachi flights are too short (and the seats too small, by the by) to catch a sleep in, I still manage to steal a few minutes nap. Aamanna, on the other hand, he’s much too worried about having to use a public toilet to even consider a nap. Or in-flight drinks.

But yes, I do think about crashing planes before every single flight I’m on! No, not in a frightened Good GOD, get me off this plane, Final Destination kinda way. But it definitely brings images from Oceanic 815 – blame it all on TV! I just think what would happen if the place were to crash, and I picture myself in a ruptured plane, hanging on the the leg of a seat (eh, airplane seats have those, right? ) with my body dangling in sub-atmospheric-pressure expanse. So far it hasn’t happened, but who knows! I know quite a few people who’d like to see that happen

Anyway! I’m making the flight to Karachi today! And I’m already flying high! And in case I don’t get to be on the internet while I’m there, Eid Mubarak in advance to all you guys! Sheesha, hussainabad, burns road, boat basin, khadda market, pie in the sky, here I come!

As a kid, I always used to wonder why the tube to aircrafts were always slanting down from the departure lounge. Couldn’t they just make the lounge on the same level as the aircraft doors? But now I know. It is to overcome the time-proportional gravitational force that compells you to stay.

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Despite the power crisis, taking off from Karachi is one of the most beautiful sights. Though on the night of my departure it was marred slightly by the presence of stabbing green decorative lights.

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I changed my look. Well, sort of. It just kind of happened by itself. Now I have short(er) hair with that just-out-of-bed look, and fake glasses. Apparently glasses make you look intelligent. And apparently, I’m the only guy out there who tells people that he’s wearing fake glasses. Kind of defeats the entire purpose, doesn’t it? Anyway – the glass affair was very short-lived. It lasted only the two hours that my plane was up in the air. I just couldn’t live the with the Supermans-champoo-secret-identity-Clark-Kent look.

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I went to Dolmen Mall at Hydery to have some ice cream – my bhabi had just received an increment, and I wasn’t going to let that go without an ice cream damn it.  Anyway, we were getting ice cream from gellato, and suddenly it dawned upon me that I’m in a public place:

Me: Bhabi, sambhaalien apni aulaad ko, mein nahi sambhaal raha – sab larkiyan samjhengi mera hai!
Ammi (sarcastically): Haan bhaee, meray betay ka score kam ho raha hai!